REVIEW: The Girl Next Door [2004]

“I’ll always remember … “ A film not necessarily loved upon release—many actually reviled it for “glamorizing” the life of a porn star—Luke Greenfield‘s The Girl Next Door was and still is a hilarious coming of age story for a post-American Pie world. It’s about finding yourself on the cusp of high school graduation without a memory worth telling as hitting the books and being a consummate student leaves you wanting. Matthew Kidman (Emile Hirsch) did everything he was supposed to on his quest to Georgetown and only found a…

Read More

REVIEW: Kick-Ass 2 [2013]

“Act like a bitch, get slapped like a bitch” I know a lot of people who hate Kick-Ass—definitely more than don’t. It’s always fascinated me because I thought it was a brilliantly funny actioner with a darkly comic streak of what logistically could happen if normal citizens decided to become superheroes. I loved it when I saw it in theatres and found myself validating that sentiment yesterday when revisiting it in preparation for the sequel. Well, let’s just say that about halfway through Kick-Ass 2 I think I discovered what…

Read More

REVIEW: Sparrows Dance [2013]

“You can’t let someone else’s genius scare you off your own genius” It only seems appropriate that I reviewed a romantic comedy yesterday where I posited its derivativeness to be a direct result of the genre simply having been exhausted beyond originality. Who knew a film like Noah Buschel’s Sparrows Dance would surprise me today by proving this thought wrong? Perhaps it isn’t the genre that has become stale, but instead the audience flocking to theatres for the same hamfisted love conquers all story repackaged ad infinitum by Hollywood. Luckily…

Read More

REVIEW: 3 Days of Normal [2013]

“Have a super day!!” The romantic comedy is derivative as a point of fact—there are only so many ways an unsuspecting boy and girl can meet and thaw before falling desperately in love. Settings change, periphery characters provide the big laughs, and you hope the spark is realistic and sweet enough to get you through the inevitability of their union. Add in a fish-out-of-water trope done to death across all genres, though, and you’d assume the end result would be nothing short of an obnoxious waste of your time. Well,…

Read More

REVIEW: Planes [2013]

“I fly for truth” What should be an auspicious occasion for DisneyToons Studios earning its first theatrical release since 2005’s Pooh’s Heffalump Movie, the Cars spin-off Planes sadly does little to affirm the decision. Actually, the fact Disney supposedly decided to upgrade its status because of how impressive early scenes looked only makes things appear more like a cash grab to milk the universe for extra box office dollars. A second read-through of Jeffrey M. Howard‘s script—he of home video Tinker Bell fame—shouldn’t have been necessary as it’s pun-heavy dialogue…

Read More

REVIEW: We’re the Millers [2013]

“That’s my credo, ‘No Ragrets’” An R-rated comedy shouldn’t possess a PG-rated heart. This is We’re the Millers’ main problem in my mind because while the profanity-laced adventure has a ton of laughs, one can’t help shake the feeling that it’s targeted to a 13-16 age group who won’t be allowed to buy a ticket. Overt sexual innuendo and f-bombs don’t make up for a lack of anything else that would render screenwriting teams Bob Fisher and Steve Faber or Sean Anders and John Morris to need an R for…

Read More

REVIEW: Eddie [Eddie: the Sleepwalking Cannibal] [2012]

“Something about that deer you don’t particularly like, son?” The horror genre has become pretty crowded the last few years with way too many remakes and sequels that never live up to the originality of vision or socio-political commentary that made revisiting such properties appealing in the first place. But while studios try to ratchet up the gore to fill the seats by duping audiences into believing blood equals scares, there do exist filmmakers outside the system trying to carve their own path into the genre with inventive premises and…

Read More

REVIEW: We Just Want to Play [2013]

“You can never turn a profit in a market this saturated” To view a collegiate short film with a critical eye—this being the filmmakers’ Quinnipiac University senior capstone project—is a tough thing to do when outside of the educational setting and not necessarily privy to the time and effort put forth like a teacher in charge. It’s easy to simply dismiss amateurish performances and hamfisted scripting as lapses in quality without looking at the big picture of where everyone is coming from. We Just Want to Play isn’t going to…

Read More

REVIEW: 2 Guns [2013]

“I did wink at him because he’s my bitch now” What do you get when you throw forty-three million dollars at an unsuspecting bank-robbing duo comprised of a DEA agent and a Naval Intelligence Officer, both believing the other is a criminal they can use as a fall guy on their respective missions? A pretty fun time, that’s what. With a poster depicting Denzel Washington’s Bobby and Mark Wahlberg’s Stig back-to-back with guns drawn and money raining down, it’s easy to write the whole thing off as a lame duck…

Read More

REVIEW: Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy [2005]

“So long and thanks for all the fish” It took a quarter century for Douglas Adams‘ seminal work The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy to hit the big screen, but it was worth the wait. Well, I’m probably not the authoritative word on such a statement considering the book series has rested unread on my shelf for the better part of ten years. As someone with no frame of reference to either it or the original radio play, though, I can say it’s a ton of British satirical fun showcasing…

Read More

REVIEW: Breakup at a Wedding [2013]

“You look like a famous young gymnast” Weddings are universally known as great fodder to run the gamut of human emotions and eccentricities. Between the idea of monogamy, the compiling of assets, and the Catholic standard of joining together as one before God, you can forgive the oft bride and groom for going a bit batty during their engagement and beyond. Movies are made on the subject every year whether they be comedy or drama, romantic or depressing, but only one film that I know of thought to use the…

Read More