Tag: Friday the 13th

REVIEW: The Cabin in the Woods [2012]

Jared Mobarak

“He has the husband bulge” After reading all the Twitter hoopla and angry comments about spoilers, I thought The Cabin in the Woods was going to have some amazing, unforeseen twist to do more than just bend genres like we all knew it would. I made sure to avoid all reviews and news, retaining my fresh, untainted mind that yearned to be excited, perplexed, and possibly even confused. And then the opening scene rendered any ideas of being kept in the dark moot as Sitterson (Richard Jenkins), Hadley (Bradley Whitford),…

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REVIEW: The Human Centipede (First Sequence) [2010]

Jared Mobarak

“Mein lieber 3-hund” Everyone needs a hobby. Hitler was a painter, Mussolini a violinist, Hussein’s was plain and simple torture, and I love watching movies. But what about Germany’s most acclaimed and celebrated surgeon for separating Siamese twins? Here is a guy with one of the most high pressured jobs in existence, having the lives of two human beings in his hands each and every time he goes to work, cleaning up what some would say are God’s mistakes. So what could he possibly do when he arrives back home?…

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REVIEW: The Crazies [2010]

Jared Mobarak

“You had time for me” It is true folks, I willingly went to go see a horror movie remake. While I enjoy my fair share of the gore genre, mostly with works full of atmosphere, mood, and storylines with a mix of the surreal and the absurd, do I necessarily care about the subgenre dealing with political musings hidden beneath the zombification of America? No, no I don’t. So what drew me to The Crazies, a revamp of its namesake’s 70s release created by the king of political-horror George Romero…

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REVIEW: Friday the 13th [2009]

Jared Mobarak

“You should have been watching him” The scariest part of the new remake Friday the 13th … that’s right, getting into your car and realizing that the eternity was only 90 minutes. All jokes aside, what I learned from the newest installment in one of horror’s never-ending franchises is that you do not mess with Jason Voorhees’s weed. The guy has a nice little crop growing over there at Camp Crystal Lake, and he protects it with his machete and burlap bag covered grotesque mug. Honestly, the first few deaths…

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