REVIEW: 13 Minutes [2021]

There’s always weather. I’m not entirely sure what the message is at the center of Lindsay Gossling‘s 13 Minutes. In fact, I’m pretty sure there isn’t one. A line of text runs before the end credits stating how the film honors those who have been affected by extreme weather, but there’s no mention of climate change, what you can do to help, or anything beyond the reality that extreme weather and affected people exist. And that’s how it treats everything across the board. Because despite being a disaster film, Gossling…

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REVIEW: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 [2011]

“Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies” Here’s a pitch for a new Trojan Condoms’ advertising campaign tie-in to The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1: Even Vampires Need Protection. Yes, the entire film could have been struck from the record if only Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) was a responsible hundreds-year old creeper when de-flowering his literally blushing bride. A complete waste of time with its first half being all about an eighteen-year old high school graduate losing her virginity on her wedding night—I guess it’s a good example these…

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REVIEW: Twilight [2008]

“I don’t have the strength to stay away from you anymore” It’s a case of which came first for me—Twilight or The Southern Vampire Mysteries? After watching the film Twilight I couldn’t help but think about the stellar HBO drama series based on the latter. For some reason, vampires are making a huge comeback and while the youngsters can’t watch the swearing and nudity featured with Sookie Stackhouse, they can swoon over Edward Cullen and wish to be Bella Swan. And unfortunately, (or maybe fortunately in a purely entertaining, surreal…

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